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Poetry

 

Made of Stone

 

Posted on the fridge where children’s pictures should be

Final notices from the water and electric company

 

On each wall in the home where family pictures should be

Hand punched holes and peeling paint, this place is virtually

 

Empty - this house is not a home

Neglected - parents leave their kids alone

Abusive - black eyes and broken bones

The children’s hearts are broken and

the parent’s hearts are made of stone

 

Naturally, they told the social worker who came today

Daddy is out working, so he’ll have the money to pay

They said Mommy’s out buying food, but the truth is plain as day

Daddy stayed out all night drinking, and Mommy ran away

 

Lonely - suffering little hearts

Defeated - no chance for a new start

Sickly - no care in this home

The children’s hearts are broken

and the parent’s hearts are made of stone

 

That woman doesn’t deserve to be a mother

She takes off with her neighbor, or Daddy’s brother

As for him, there’s something that he doesn’t understand

The fact that he has children, doesn’t make him a Dad

 

Hurting - it is so unfair.

Untrusting - dirty faces and messy hair

 

The kids grow up thinking that everyone lives this way

Drinking, swearing, abusing, and dodging creditors each day

There’s a story behind those smiles, and in their eyes

We see they’re cold and alone

They pretend they’re happy but children aren’t made of stone.

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Today

 

Today I heard that Sunday night

you gave up on the world and took your life

You seemed to have so much, what nightmare lied

behind your jokes, laughter and your smile?

 

Today my friend called we talked about you

We cried for your family and your best friend too

What caused you to hurt that bad? Why did you go away?

How come you kept it to yourself? Why wouldn’t you just say,

 

You were in pain?

 

Two days ago you decided to die

Should you have waited

You may have given it another try

 

If you thought that no one cared before

you can see how wrong you were

It’s a shame we realize how much we care

when tragedy occurs

 

So if today you’re able to see

your family, friends and maybe even me

Maybe now you can finally believe

how much we loved you and how much we grieve

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There With You

 

When you are troubled even though you’re miles away

I can feel your sadness and I share your pain

 

With distance separating, it’s comforting just to know

You’re home safe and I can hear your breathing on the phone

 

But it gets so frustrating when I cannot prove

Life would be much better if I was there with you

 

I know you have been wrong so many times before

I wish I could convince you that I’ve never been so sure

 

I want to see your smile and not just hear your laughter

I want to experience the good times with you, not just hear about it after

 

I keep reminding you of being together, though the times are few

I’ve never been as happy as I was when I was there with you

 

 

 

Scars That Won’t Heal

 

She used to be carefree

She never hid her pain

Behind tired, empty smiles

Will she ever smile again?

 

On the outside she’s a beautiful

funloving young girl

But we can't feel her true pain

Unless we visit her hurting world

 

She was flawless on the outside

Imaginary wounds only she could feel

It’s hard to treat the sickness

Unless her inner scars heal

 

I pray for her freedom

From him and from her home

I pray I won’t give up

And leave my friend all alone

 

Her brother found her on the floor

Her life flowing into the rug

Another time it was in the bathtub

She was soaking in her own blood

 

No one can do anything

As her pain becomes more real

No one can help her if she won’t help herself

Only she can choose to heal

Somehow

 

Somehow I knew when angry words were spoken

Somehow I knew when promises were broken

Somehow I knew when others were wary

Somehow I ignored the burden I carried

 

Somehow I felt that it was wrong

Somehow I allowed it to last that long

Somehow I thought it would work out if I tried

Somehow I knew I was living a lie

 

Somehow it happened when I woke up one day

Somehow it happened and I just walked away

Somehow it happened and I’ve pondered at length

Somehow it ended and it wasn’t my strength

sunset.jpg

Leaving Behind

 

Summer’s warmth has lifted

And the short time I’ve been gifted

I’m forced to leave behind

 

Back to my cold city 

All the people amidst me

Wear frowns so unkind

 

My friend’s smiling faces

Spread out in many places

Have long since left me behind

 

I hear their condescending voices

Amongst all the happy noises

Telling me to hang in there and I’ll find

 

Happiness and direction

Joyful infection

And all the other blessings that they have

 

I don’t need their pity

Alone in this grey city 

I want to leave their empty wishes behind

 

The life I lived so long

Surrounded in color and song

I’ve chosen to leave behind

 

I used to wake up each morning

Feeling so empty and lonely

So I’m mustering the strength to find

 

Happiness and direction

Joyful infection

A heart that is content and can rest

 

Instead I keep finding

Bad memories reminding

Me just why I have been left behind



Free

12/23/01

 

The winters getting colder

The nights are getting long

Although I sleep restlessly

Somehow I’m moving on

 

Inside I feel hollow

My heart is made of ice

I try to avoid the pain by day

But it finds me alone at night

 

The cold air seeps in

Through my window as I weep

As bitter as it feels

It whispers to me, relief

 

When all is said and done

And nightfall visits me

I welcome tears and loneliness

Because at least I’m free